at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
