I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
