She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Floor bacon is actually really good
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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