the day after is always just damage control
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
