dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
