she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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