My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
