If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
