I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
