I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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