you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
honey bunches of taint.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize