I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
