She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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