So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
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