belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize