it's too hot outside to masturbate.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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