This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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