also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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