it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
