First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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