he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Randomize
