Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
