508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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