shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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