So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He passed out mid-signature
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
