I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
