We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
