I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
