Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
