Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
