CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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