I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
