I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
