strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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