just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
