did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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