we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
