How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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