Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
