woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize