he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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