i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize