it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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