You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
