You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
