If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
