Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
