you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
