Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
