i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's never too late to be topless.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize