I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
