he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm too high and old for this...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
