I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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