I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
