Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
