i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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