once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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