I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
