In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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