my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize