so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
