I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
how drunk are you?
Several
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
