they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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