drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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