My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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