I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
